On the outside, you might not think someone is struggling with clinical depression, but their room is messy, they let their clutter, laundry and dishes all pile up for days on end. People struggle to get out of bed, or even want to get out of bed. All the while, people are often joking about being depressed. When someone claims to have depression, or to be feeling depressed, it can discourage others who are facing horrible mental illnesses from opening up.
I am Lillian Makeeff-Stetson and I have recently been clinically diagnosed with depression. I always had a feeling in the back of my heart that I was struggling with this illness, but I felt as though I couldn’t state it because it was so easily diminished. I’d thought it would just get thrown under the table.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth – the second leading cause. Let that sink in. After someone commits suicide or attempts to, the most common question their loved ones ask is, ‘why?’ I cannot speak for everyone, but I can speak for my own well-being. I remember feeling unheard, unrepresented and undervalued for a long time. I remember feeling tired every day because I couldn’t stand having to include myself in conversations or be the one to initiate hangouts. When someone speaks about feeling depressed or angry, it gets pushed aside as sadness. It gets shoved under the table. My feelings got shoved under that very table, for years.
Depression isn’t this glamorous thing that you should romanticize. It is an illness – an illness that tears apart families. You’re not blessed with it – it’s something you live with and work through every, single day. I want you to now understand that when someone says they’re upset, listen to them. I don’t want anyone to feel the way I did for four years.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, or need someone to talk to immediately, call 1(800)-273-8255.